 |
 |
|
 |
|
 |
|
 |
|
 |
|
 |
 |
|
|
 |
|
 |
|
 |
|
 |
REVOLUTIONARY COMMON SENSE LIBRARY
 |
When the Table is Turned
Revolutionary Common Sense by Kathie Snow
www.disabilityisnatural.com
As a special ed teacher for more than twenty years, Charmaine (my best friend), has always seen herself as a diligent, effective advocate for the students she taught and their parents. Her experiences have run the gamut, from teaching in horribly labeled self-contained classrooms to supporting students and teachers in inclusive general ed environments.
During IEP (Individualized Education Program) meetings, she felt she was
on the “side” of the child and his parents, much to the chagrin of
some of her coworkers and supervisors. She did what she could to move students
into inclusive general ed classrooms, contrary to the wishes of other educators.
Her bold and brave actions often led others to see her as a “rebel” or “not
a team player.” Still, she persevered, believing she was a positive force
and a strong advocate.
Then her third child was born with Down syndrome. When the nurses in the
hospital brought her new baby to her, she recalls, there was great sadness
in their eyes. Her friends at the time (most were special and general ed
teachers) dutifully expressed, “I’m so sorry,” and other pitiful responses. Charmaine
was astounded, sad, and angry that no one joined in celebrating the birth of
her precious Dylan.
Then one day, a team of professionals arrived for Dylan’s first IFSP
(Individualized Family Support Plan) meeting. As she listened to the negative
pronouncements about her baby son, Charmaine was reduced to tears. (Many more “I” meetings
would follow, none of which were much better, in Charmaine’s opinion.)
After this first meeting, Charmaine dried her tears and thoughtfully
analyzed the situation. Although she was an experienced professional
in the developmental disabilities arena, the IFSP meeting and the actions
of others ripped a hole in her heart. But the members of the IFSP team
weren’t mean, cruel people—they
were just doing their jobs! Reflecting on the number of IEP meetings she had
attended over the years on the side of the child and parent, she felt remorse,
recognizing that negative outcomes could arise even with all the “good” she
tried to do at IEP meetings.
It was only when the table was turned—when she was sitting at a meeting
as a parent instead of a teacher—that she saw both sides of the story.
She spent some time thinking about how, as a special educator, she could have
done things differently at all those IEP meetings, and she resolved to do things
differently in the future.
My 86-year-old stepfather, Robby, is a retired military chaplain,
who never really retired. For the last 40 years, he has served as
a civilian minister and hospital chaplain. While spending countless
hours visiting patients in medical settings, he frequently—and informally—“joined” the
medical team, encouraging patients to follow the directives of the medical
professionals.
About a year ago, Robby had a mild heart attack. After spending
a few days in the hospital, he was transferred to a rehab center
for “four to six
weeks of cardiac rehab therapy,” which consisted of physical (PT) and
occupational (OT) therapies. When he and my mother told me about the inpatient
rehab, I asked them to explore other options—like Robby going home and
getting outpatient therapy. It seemed ridiculous to spend 24/7 in a rehab center
when he was only going to be seen by therapists for an hour or two per day!
But my mom and stepdad were determined to follow the doctor’s orders.
This is what “good patients” do, right? And after forty years of
telling others to follow the doctor’s orders, as part of the “hospital
team,” Robby wasn’t about to change his tune.
After two nights in the rehab center, Robby bolted. The reasons?
Several. Occupational therapy activities included Robby playing cards
to limber up his stiff hands; physical therapy included leg lifts;
and both therapies were things he could do himself. Robby didn’t feel
the need to stay immobile in a bed all day, just waiting for the therapists,
when he could be doing all these things—like
playing cards with my mom—at home! (Later, I learned
from another cardio-rehab professional that the primary reason
Robby was referred to inpatient, instead of outpatient, therapy
was because he had “good insurance”—and
that those without good insurance were almost always referred
to outpatient rehab. That was a real eye-opener!)
Another reason for Robby’s escape involved his accommodations. His roommate
was hooked up to a variety of beeping machines. The first night, one of the
nurses turned down the volume of the machines so Robby could sleep. The second
night, a different nurse told Robby it was just “too bad” if he
couldn’t sleep, that the nurses needed the volume up on the machines
at all times. When Robby protested about the “damn noise,” Nurse
Ratchit proclaimed she would “turn him in” for using profanity.
After this learning experience, no longer does Robby routinely
encourage patients to robotically “follow orders.” Instead, he suggests they ask questions,
be thoughtful, and take more responsibility for their own care and decision-making.
Being on “the other side” has given him a different perspective.
You or someone you know may have been in situations where
the table has turned. The experience probably (hopefully?)
resulted in a change in attitudes, actions, or behaviors.
Valuable lessons in empathy can be learned when we experience situations
first-hand. And it’s important to embrace these lessons and see how they may apply
to others in our sphere of influence. Even if we don’t have the opportunity
of learning through personal experience, however, we can still make a great
effort to learn what another’s life is like. If we care enough, if we
take the time, if we’re courageous enough (to face the truth), and if
we make the choice to ask others to tell us about their lives and experiences,
as well as their hopes, dreams, interests, and more, we can learn—and
in the process, we’ll make the world a better place.
Today, in your imagination, change places with a
person in your life who has a disability. Be thoughtful
and be honest—be really, really honest. Then
make some changes: in your thoughts, words, and actions—and change a
life in the process.
©2004-06 Kathie Snow, www.disabilityisnatural.com. Clip art from Adobe In-Design. Permission is granted for non-commercial use of this article: you may print this web page and photocopy it to share with others. Click here to download the PDF handout version of the article. As a courtesy, please tell me (kathie@disabilityisnatural.com) how/when you use it. Do not violate copyright laws: request permission before reprinting or republishing in newsletters, on websites, or in other media
[A New Way of Thinking]
[The Disability is Natural Book and Video]
[About Us]
[People First Language]
[The Disability is Natural Store]
[Revolutionary Common Sense Articles]
[Presentations/Exhibits]
[Rave Reviews]
[Newsletter Library ]
[Contact Us]
[Home]
Disability is Natural
BraveHeart Press
Toll-free: 1-866-948-2222
1-719-687-0735
Fax: 1-719-687-8114
P. O. Box 7245
Woodland Park, CO 80863
Copyright © 2001 - 2008 by BraveHeart Press
 |
 |
 |
|
||
 |
|
 |
|
||
Our words reflect the way we think, so let's get rid of descriptors like "handicapped, physically disabled, mentally retarded, learning disabled" and other words that focus on the condition instead of the person. People First Language promotes dignity and respect for all!
Web search engine marketing by PageCafe Web Design and Marketing