Disability is Natural Free Press

 

•  New Revolutionary Common Sense Articles

•  Featured Article: Best Hopes/Worst Fears

•  Cure Prejudice Now! (and other powerful sentiments)

 

New Revolutionary Common Sense Articles

Another batch of thought-provoking articles is now available on the Revolutionary Common Sense page at www.disabilityisnatural.com for you to read and share with others! Check out the brief descriptions of these articles below:

Beyond "Two-Dimensional" Thinking

It goes by many names—either/or, yes/no, all/nothing—but whatever it’s called, two-dimensional thinking can be a recipe for conflict, stress, diminished opportunities, and other less than desirable outcomes. And when it comes to disability issues, getting beyond two-dimensional thinking can increase opportunities for success and inclusion, and this article examines these in more detail. When we change our thinking, change in people's lives will occur!

Advocate or Diplomat?

As advocates, we speak out, take actions, and seek to positively influence disability affairs, in general, or the life of someone we care about, in particular. This is a good thing, right? I think so. But advocacy horror stories abound, and we often inadvertently make new adversaries. In order to develop as many allies as possible, perhaps we should consider moving beyond advocacy to diplomacy, and this article tells you how to make it happen!

Beware the Retarding Environment

Retarding environments don't exist only in institutional settings; they can also be found in our homes, schools, and other settings. These typical environments can be “retarding” when individuals with disabilities are prevented from experiencing
ordinary, natural lives. Read this article to learn what to look for and what to change!

The Disability Double Standard

People who don't have disabilities do what it takes to make life better for themselves, by using tools and accommodations. Unfortunately, however, we don't always allow or encourage the same for individuals with disabilities, and we often simultaneously hold them to a higher standard. Solutions to this harmful practice are found in this enlightening article.

Life is Not a Dress Rehearsal

Actors practice their lines over and over, under the watchful eyes of the director. Life—for many people with disabilities—is not unlike the lives of actors preparing for a play, but with one big difference. For actors, opening night is the end of the readiness phase. But for people with disabilities, the dress rehearsals—getting ready for the real thing (LIFE)—continue indefinitely. This article poses some provocative questions—maybe it's time for some serious changes!

Humor to the Rescue: What Do You Say When...?

Tired of curious questions, stares and pointed fingers, and/or downright rude comments from strangers? Few of us seldom walk away from such an experience with our emotions unscathed. We often wish we had a snappy retort. You'll find several in this helpful and humorous article! (And don't forget to check out the "Got Manners? No Staring, Please" items at the Disability is Natural store.)

The Moral Imperative of Inclusion

Fifty years ago, in the landmark Brown v. Board of Education of Topeka Supreme Court decision, separate educational facilities were outlawed and deemed "inherently unequal." Yet separate facilities for children and disabilities continue to exist! This article questions whether it's time to go beyond laws, and recognize that inclusion is a moral and ethical issue.

The "Right" to a Normal Life

Whether we're happy or unhappy with the service system, many of us seem to see the fulfillment of our rights as the most important goal in our lives. But what about the “right” to a normal life—a real life—instead of a life as a client, recipient, patient—a “special” life? You'll find some interesting questions and answers in this article!

Go Beyond Goals: Think Outcomes!

It's critically important to write meaningful and relevant goals, but we can push the envelope even further when we think in terms of the outcomes of goals, therapies, services, and other activities which are intended to help individuals with disabilities. A goal is something we hope will happen. The outcome is what really happens. This article examines the importance of anticipating—to the best of our abilities—the outcomes of all that we do in the disability arena.

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Featured Article:

Best Hopes/Worst Fears

by Kathie Snow

In TV-Land every week, risk-taking men and women tackle unpleasant, yucky, and sometimes dangerous situations on “Fear Factor.” The pay-off? Self-esteem, pride, money, and more. In the Real World, ordinary men, women, boys, and girls also face difficult circumstances on a daily basis—taking a test at school, learning to drive (or holding your breath the first time your child drives alone), getting fired, getting hired, and a variety of other experiences that constitute being a human being in today’s world.

In The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Rings, Frodo quoted one of his Uncle Bilbo’s favorite sayings, “It’s a dangerous business going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there’s no knowing where you might be swept off to.” Yes, in the Real World, life is full of fear—but every day, most of us go out our doors and face the risks of daily life. We do this because life is also full of hope and promise, and in many situations, our hopes are realized because we’ve faced our fears and taken risks.

In Disability World, however, things are very different. Many children and adults with developmental disabilities are “protected” by the Authorities (service providers, educators, and even parents) who are in control. And in these situations, people with disabilities are not allowed to take risks—not allowed to be in regular classrooms, live on their own, have Real Jobs, take care of themselves, and more. Fear—of failure, danger, or something else—puts the brakes on “risky” adventures.

Interestingly, it’s often the Authorities—not the child or adult with a disability—who are fearful. But “fear” may not be the word that’s used. Instead, the Authorities proclaim the person is unable to do [whatever], even though he’s never had the opportunity to try! On the other hand, the justification for continued “protection” may be placed on the shoulders of “the community” or “the school” or some other entity which is judged “not ready” to include and support a child or adult with a disability.

In other cases, a person with a disability may have once had a Real Job in the community or been included in school, but it didn’t work out exactly as planned. When this occurs, the “failure” may be blamed on the person or the setting, the Authorities believe their fears were justified, and then decide, once and for all, that the person with a disability will never be successful in an inclusive setting, so no future opportunities are forthcoming.

It’s as if “hope” and “disability” are mutually exclusive. But they aren’t, and things don’t have to be this way!

In these situations, we employ a different set of rules for people with disabilities. In the Real World, would a person without a disability who has been fired from a job assume that she is not employable? No, she would most likely realize that, for whatever reasons, she and the job were not a good match, and she would seek a different job, knowing she will find the right jobs (like many others, she may have several different careers throughout her lifetime).

Fear—whether it’s rational or irrational—can prevent us from moving forward into new opportunities. When it comes to the lives of individuals who have disabilities, this can result in segregation, lost opportunities, undereducation, underemployment, and other negative outcomes, which may be life-long.

Our efforts may also be self-sabotaged by the widely-held belief that we shouldn’t hold onto “false hopes.” Authorities of all types—including medical personnel—counsel parents and people with disabilities against having “false hopes.” (What are they afraid of, on our behalf?) And what happens when, for example, parents embrace this way of thinking? They (and other Authorities) adopt a “realistic,” narrow-minded way of thinking, which limits the child’s opportunities for success. If Thomas Edison, Bill Gates, and others—both the famous and the ordinary—had been “realistic” and concerned with “false hopes,” would they have taken the risks they took, tried and tried again, or done whatever it took to achieve their dreams? Shouldn’t we be more concerned with the “false fears” that freeze us into immobility than “false hopes”?

What’s lacking in so many scenarios involving people with disabilities are hope and optimism. We spend so much time being fearful, and so little time, if any, being hopeful and optimistic. It’s as if “hope” and “disability” are mutually exclusive. But they aren’t, and things don’t have to be this way!

One solution to this quagmire is the Best Hopes/Worst Fears exercise. More than a decade ago, the elementary school which my children later attended became an inclusive school via this strategy. The principal knew that educators had many fears. He also knew that until they addressed these fears, their efforts at inclusion might not succeed.

So here’s what they did: over the course of several staff meetings, educators shared their Best Hopes and their Worst Fears with one another, writing them on flip chart paper which lined the walls of the room. In order for this method to bear fruit, staff members had to know they could speak honestly, that they wouldn’t be chastised or ridiculed for their feelings. Through personal experiences, brainstorming, and open and respectful discussion, they learned that many of their fears were, indeed, “false fears.” Then they openly and honestly talked about what it would take to make sure their Best Hopes came true and their Worst Fears didn’t, and these were also listed on the flip chart paper and shared with all.

The Best Hopes/Worst Fears strategy can work for all of us. Any agency, organization, or school can use it in order to move to inclusion or other new ways of operating. An IEP, IHP, or other planning team can use it to ensure successful outcomes for a child or adult with a disability. And it’s critically important that the person whose life is being discussed is an integral, active participant. We need to know what her own Best Hopes and Worst Fears are.

We can share our Best Hopes and Worst Fears when thinking about a person with a disability having a Real Job or living in the community. Then we can employ techniques to ensure the Best Hopes are realized and the Worst Fears never come true.

Parents can use this strategy within their families and drive the demons of hopelessness and “false fears” away, once and for all. Tackling our Best Hopes and Worst Fears can launch us into action. For example, if parents are reluctant to allow their child to be included in school or other activities because the child doesn’t have sufficient oral communication to be easily understood by others, they might decide it’s time for a communication device. That fear is now gone. If they’re fearful their child may never be able to live on his own, they might decide to start teaching the child how to cook, shop, balance his checkbook, and other self-sufficiency skills.

When doing this exercise, you might discover that your Best Hopes and Worst Fears are flip sides of the same coin. One Best Hope, for example, might be that a person with a disability has friends, while one of the Worst Fears is that the person will be alone. When we get these out in the open, share them with others, and brainstorm solutions, we’ll ensure positive outcomes.

In the end, employing the Best Hopes/Worst Fears activity is what most of us do for ourselves (often unconsciously) on a daily basis. When we walk out our doors every day, we assess risks, decide which are acceptable or unacceptable (and which are based on “false fears”), and then do whatever it takes to ensure the risks we take result in a benefit.

Isn’t it time to ensure people with disabilities have these same opportunities? Shouldn’t they also be able to enjoy the dignity of risk, the power of learning from experience, and the benefits that come from living a self-directed life?

 

© 2005 Kathie Snow. If you would like a handout version (PDF) of this article, please send your request, along with the title of the article ("Best Hopes/Worst Fears") to: kathie@disabilityisnatural.com. You may share and/or distribute this Email or the PDF version of the article to others (non-commercial use only). As a courtesy, please let me know how/when you use it. Please do not violate copyright laws: request permission before reprinting in publications or on websites.

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Cure Prejudice Now! (and other powerful sentiments)

I'm all for curing cancer, diabetes, and other conditions that kill. But I think it's time to question the notion that we should also try to cure developmental disabilities!

Consider this: with cancer, diabetes, and similar life-threatening conditions, individuals who actually have those conditions are strong proponents of "cure" efforts. The same is not true with developmental disabilities! Do we routinely see children or adults with autism, cerebral palsy, Down syndrome, or other conditions crying out, "Cure me!" No! Instead, it's family members who are leading the "cure" charge! Simultaneously, there are groups of people with developmental disabilities who indignantly (and with good reason) say, "Leave us alone! We're fine the way we are! We don't need to be cured!"

When will we listen? What will it take for us to be respectful of people whose bodies or minds might work differently from the so-called "norm"? Imagine if you were a child or an adult with a development disability . . . what might it feel like to know that your parents, and perhaps others who are supposed to care about you, don't want you to be the way you are?

People with developmental disabilities don't need to be cured. Instead, we need to cure prejudice, now!

And to create a more inclusive, welcoming society for all, it's not just "disability prejudice" that we need to cure; we've still got miles to go when it comes to eliminating prejudice directed at others in our society—prejudice based on ethnicity, gender, religion, age, sexual orientation, or some other characteristic.

The "Cure Prejudice Now!" design, as well as our other newest logos (shown below) are available on T-shirts, sweatshirts, tote bags, mini-posters, stickers, note cards, badges, and keyrings. Visit the Disability is Natural store to order and to see the other powerful designs that promote new ways of thinking!